Regret: A Story Of The Future

What do you fear most? 

For some it may be spiders, heights, public speaking. For me, my greatest fear is regret. Whilst I don’t feel it’s angry grip yet, it’s something that I know will come for me if I don’t try everything I can, if I don’t do everything I dreamed. If I follow the crowd of everyone around me, then I fear it will cause regret to haunt me. When I think of regret, I think of myself as an old man, lying in my death bed. I’m going to give you a story of what that might look like and what I'd fear most if I had 1 hour left to live.

60 Minutes remaining: My breathing is shallow, my body is giving up and the light is fading from my eyes. It’s a cold, dark winters day outside and I have a thin, itchy blanket that is just keeping me warm enough. I lie there deep in thought, I can feel death slowly absorbing my body. It’s cold, painful and slowly torturing me as it works its way around my body.

30 Minutes remaining: My sister comes in, she sits by my bed and starts talking to me. At this point, I’m too weak to respond to her. All I can do is stare at her with a tear in my eye as she tells me that I’ll be ok. The tear falls down my cheek, I’m desperate to say to her how grateful I am for everything she did for me in life, how great of a sister she has been. My voice will not allow me, I'm trapped inside my own body.

15 Minutes remaining: I start to daydream, thoughts and memories fly past, my brain is playing a last minute movie of my life. It shows me my career, my friends, my memories. I wish I could’ve done more, I never went to explore the world, I never took that opportunity to work for my company abroad, maybe I should’ve tried harder with that girl I loved. I have no children, no family name to pass down. I am lying here, alone with no one but my faithful sister to keep me company. Regret clouds my mind like a storm covering a sunny day as I continue to think about what could've been.

10 Minutes remaining: I open my eyes again. My mind starts to play tricks on me, people start appearing in my room. My mum and dad are stood next to me but they’ve been dead for 40 years! They ask me if I am happy with my life, I don’t know what to say. I was comfortable, I was safe but yet I feel so disappointed. Sad that I didn’t take more risks, sad that I rejected so many opportunities, sad at the amount of times I said no instead of yes.

5 Minutes Remaining: There’s nothing I can do. These regrets will remain regrets, there is no time to fix them, no time to change them. It’s impossible to go back and give life another go. Why didn’t I just take the leap? Now, I may well be slipping off to the unknown for all eternity. The one known chance I had at life has ran out.

1 Minute Remaining: I start to gasp for breath, death's grip has almost fully tightened. My life flashes again before my eyes. What could I have been I wonder? What could I have achieved? What could I have seen? I imagine what could have happened, I imagine how I would be feeling now if I had done everything I wanted to. This brings me little comfort, I know that nothing can change now. My sister squeezes my hand, I don’t even have the strength to open my eyes anymore to give the world one last look.

0 Minutes Remaining: The last breath of air fills my lungs. Just as quickly as it came, it departs. My heart stops, my thoughts run out of colour, my consciousness seeps out of my body. I have gone where no one can follow. The only thing that follows me is my last thoughts of regret and sadness…

What Next?

So, obviously that story is a very dramatic possibility. I wrote it to encourage you to say yes to more opportunities, to motivate you to not be fearful of change or the unknown. 

Now, just because you travel, it doesn't guarantee you won't have any regrets, and likewise, not traveling doesn't automatically mean you'll regret not doing it. For some people, they are just happy the way they are and if so then that is fantastic. This blog is aimed at the people who are curious, who aren’t content in their current way of life. Take the leap, it's ok to fail, it's ok to make mistakes. Not succeeding is surely better than the regret of not trying at all?

For those of you who are content in life, then fair play. From my view, that is a very hard milestone to reach, but someday I am confident I too will reach that stage.

Final Points:

Regret is not solely focused on if you travel or not. It is for all paths we choose in life and it is your responsibility to make sure you choose the path you will least regret. However, try not to fear regret too much as then it can cloud your judgment when it comes to making key decisions. 

The day when we are on our death bed, I'm sure it won't be as grim as I made it out to sound in the story above. Trust in yourself, trust the process and never be content if you have an appetite for more!

 
Hope you enjoyed the read, even if it was more of a grim blog!

SunTide